are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
