I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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