ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
