I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My life is pants optional.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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