She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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