If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
