I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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