The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?