That's when you crack a 10am beer
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.