this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
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Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.