I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.