Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Life without a bra equals bliss.