Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
