Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.