I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I think your dad took our porno
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.