I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
as a side note pls kill me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
