i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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