Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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