Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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