is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
