so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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