Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
