I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
