i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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