i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
