NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
