Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
