You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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