and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
