He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize