I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize