This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
