its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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