She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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