Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
