So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
