I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
