just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
