do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
