Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
