idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
