I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
