I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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