I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
