yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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