the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
