Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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