I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
one might say we're banned from that church
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
