This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize