she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
