i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
