The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
