ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
