Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
