I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
