I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We left the knife in your bed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
