best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
