Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
