shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
