Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
