Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
