hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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