I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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