What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
