why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
