I want you more than these girls want KFC
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
