I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
