do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
