Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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